I was a stranger and visited your church

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In the last several months I have been on the road. This includes visits to churches in Canada, Singapore, Thailand, England and Scotland.  These churches have been small and large; established and independent; and their services have been traditional, contemporary and more.  It has been a learning time on how to welcome visitors. I have seen it done well and poorly.

This reflection is written in the light of Hebrews 13:1-2. It is interesting that the first expression of brotherly love is to receive strangers well.  Behind these words there lies the old commands to care for strangers (eg Lev 19:34). Undergirding all this is the gospel grace wherein God shows hospitality to those who are strangers and even estranged from him (eg Rom 5:10). And finally, to welcome a stranger is akin to welcoming the Lord himself (Matt 25:35).

To you I am an unfamiliar face. It's not too hard to see that I am visiting as I may arrive well before the service or a little late. I don't walk in with familiar ease and may appear uncertain and tentative. I don’t know who sits where, what to do at different parts of the service, where the toilets are or what happens when the service ends. In short, I stand out from the regulars.

Who am I? I may be a committed believer who is passing through. Or a newcomer looking for a church home. Or I may be a local person enquiring about the faith. Or a desperate unbeliever seeking help and solace where I can find it. I may be on the edge of despair-driven suicide or it may be that walking into your service was a conscious choice to avoid a traveller’s temptation. Whoever I am and however long I stay, I am an opportunity for you to show God’s hospitality.

What to do:

• Give me a warm greeting as I enter, hand me any books or service sheets and help me find a seat (I didn’t know that seat was reserved for the elders!);
• Somewhere (handout, slide etc) tell me anything I need to know during the service, where the bathrooms are and any post-service arrangements ('behind the small hall’ is not a destination that I know);
• If you are sitting near me, say ‘hi’ and take an interest in me – take me over to the coffee venue and ask if you can help with information about the church or area;
• Have a welcoming team who watch out for visitors and assign someone of a similar demographic to link with me;
• Notice my name and use it when talking to me (I’ll try and do the same to you).

What not to do:

• Single me out during the service by asking visitors to identify themselves (I’m already uncertain about walking into your space);
• Come on strong with an overly heavy greeting and an evangelistic spiel when you first meet me (you don't know me yet);
• Try and sign me up for something unless I express interest (I don't like being pushed);
• Leave me standing by myself during coffee time (I’ll be the person lingering over the outdated notice board or bookstall or standing near the door).

If you don’t know what to do, just put yourself in my shoes. How do you like to be welcomed when you are the stranger and visitor?

Beyond the objectification of women

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Beyond the objectification of women

The sexual objectification of women is an often-discussed topic.

Women object to being characterised and treated as objects, and especially objects of male sexual pleasure and gratification. (See http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/feminism-objectification/ for a useful introduction.) There seems to be less discussion of the objectification of men (although note the brief mention in http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_objectification).

I am writing this from a city that I am visiting. At times I wander down a main street for some shopping and to find food. I am frequently approached in both day and night. This is sometimes by a man waving a folder of photos and asking if I want ‘a young girl, young boy, anything?’. At other times the approach is by a female (a sex worker I’d guess) asking if I want a good time.

Who am I to these people? I am an object with body parts, desires and who is presumed to have cash to spend. I find it offensive to be thus treated and have no doubt that women find the same when they are treated in the same way.

Objectification is more than a female issue. It is also more than a matter of sexual objectification, whether of women or men.

Objectification can take many forms and be in many directions. The key thing is that a person is seen not as a ‘who’ but as a ‘what’. The objectified person is a route to some other goal. To a business, an opportunity of profit. To the demagogue, an opportunity of control. To the careerist, an opportunity of advancement. To the hero, an opportunity of feel-good heroics. The examples can be multiplied and go wider than we may expect.

The language of objectification is one of ‘I – it’, not ‘I – thou’, to use Martin Buber’s phase. It does not reckon with the personhood of humans. Nor does it reckon with the Bible’s view of humans.

In the Biblical view we are not objects or even animals, but we are creatures made in the likeness of God, bearing his image and entrusted with a delegated management of his creation (Gen 1:26-27).  God breathed his breath into us (Gen 2:7).  All this gives a high view of people, irrespective of their capacities, deeds, gender, race and such like. The seriousness of intentionally taking a human life arises because we bear God’s image (Gen 9:6). Our value as humans is further shown in God’s gracious act to send his Son Jesus for our redemption. The Son of God came to save people, not objects.

If we live out the implications of this Biblical view, we will treat people as people, not as objects to use as a means to our goals. At a basic level, it means courtesies such as greeting people personally (and by name where possible), thanking those who serve and help us (and looking for opportunities to reciprocate), giving people our time and attention when we have nothing to gain from them. At higher levels, it may mean changing family, workplace and community structures to give dignity and recognition to all people.

It’s easy to see and object to objectification when it is sexual, directed towards women and especially in gross forms such as pornography and prostitution. And it is easy to say no to the touts on the streets of a city. However, it is much harder both to see and eradicate objectification on these other levels.

I’m about to go to lunch. I guess I start by smiling at and thanking the person who serves my meal and then helping to clean my space before I leave the table. And if there is a tout, I can refuse their offerings in a way that treats them as a person and not as an object that is a means to my feelings of self-righteousness.

Film review: Ilo Ilo

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Film review: Ilo Ilo

Ilo Ilo (www.iloilomovie.com) is a 2013 Singaporean film about local family life. The film has received global recognition, winning the Camera d'Or award at Cannes 2013 and is nominated for other awards (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ilo_Ilo).

It is not the best film technically, which may be partly a product of the low budget ($500,000) and local inexperience in filmmaking. However, it is still worth a watch.

The film is set in the 1997 Asian financial crisis and features a family of mother, father and son who are under external pressure (lost jobs, school problems etc) and who also face issues internal to the family (parental tension and a wayward son). This stressed family life is changed when a Pilipino maid (Teresa) is hired to help manage the son.

The film explores themes of HDB life in the period and the complex family dynamics between husband and wife, parents and child and, especially, between Teresa and the initially hostile son.

My interest is in the worldviews displayed in the film.

Several worldviews are on view.

The host family is quite godless, as evidenced in an early scene when a neighbouring maid tells Teresa that ‘God is not here’ and that she should forget her rosary. This represents the rejection of theism.

In one scene the family goes to an ancestor’s grave for prayers and offerings and even Teresa is pushed into the rituals. This however seems to have little impact of their daily behaviour and functional worldview. This represents irrelevant traditional religion.

Meanwhile the mother’s desperation prompts her to attend a promo night by a motivational speaker whose credo is ‘hope is within you’. This is the gospel of self-reliance. Even this turns out to be deceptive when the speaker proves to be a con artist who collects fees and then tries to disappear.

What is the family left with? The son tries to manipulate and improve his world by carefully tracking and betting on winning lottery numbers. This enables him to ameliorate a school punishment in an amusing scene, but ultimately it fails as he tries to win the lottery to save the family finances and keep Teresa in Singapore. This pairing shows worldview of cosmic randomness or capriciousness.

Finally the family are left with themselves. There is some irony as the scammer’s message comes true among them. They do find some hope and comfort among themselves as truth, forgiveness and generosity arise within this tortured family. The film ends with Teresa’s forced repatriation due to poverty, but each family member has been changed for the better.

This is a warm ending, but a question that extends beyond the movie remains for me. Are our internal resources sufficient to cope with, and rise above life’s challenges?

Mucking about with words

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Mucking about with words[1]

Its playtime,

Time to dip into the box

Inspecting, rejecting and selecting

Seeking the right one for the spot.

But these are not tools for fools, nor toys for the boys (and girls),

Or, maybe the best toys and tools of all.

Wonderful words,

Cajoling, bemusing, caressing, carousing and more.

Words that transport to far off places and worlds beyond time and space.

Words that beckon, berate, bemuse and bestride the universe.

Nouns, verbs, adverbs and more,

Syntactically diced, marinated, stir-fried and baked to perfection,

Prepositions, conjunctions, disjunctions blending part to part,

Master Chef for the mind.

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[1] Sept 2013 while watching my grandson Xavier play with his toys.